And from the ashes....a phoenix rises!

It has been nigh an eternity since I had last signed in to these accursed elecronic pages. An eternity...and a half for those of you keeping account. Thus I implore the general masses, the ants you are who will kneel before my coming storm, to set aside your seething rage, your crack-addict-like continuous itching, and your gigabytes of porn, and hear me but once more before my crushing hammer fells itself upon your American Idol-ed crests.

For I have returned.

And I do not bring peace. Once again I bring you the cerebral laxatives, the intellectual prunes, that shall cleanse you of your SouthPark-ed minds, your O.C infested cesspools of a GTA infected, spiritual gonorrhea-inducing minds.

I have returned.

And for the next few hours, I shall entome enough Scintillating Thoughts™ to make up for the last three weeks. And you, brainless peons, you shall stop watching Will & Grace long enough to sift through the ensuing madness and remember why I am your master.

I have returned.

Leave the virgin sacrifices at the door, knock twice, and leave.