It's 2 AM, and this is how I really feel at the moment.
Welcome to this quaintly exquisite corner of the blogosphere puny mortals...for hearken thou ears as....wait...no...something is wrong.
You cant do this to me!! Do you know who I AM?! Death shalt await you through every orifice of
your maggot...infeste...-ody.....
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-----------------#NAREGO offline
Well, hello readers. For the first time, it's me Shampad having a heart to heart chat [at least a very one-sided chat] with you folks. My narcissistic alter-ego has been temporarily put into stasis so that I could actually reveal something about myself and maybe even have a positive post for once. Well...here goes. Wish me luck.
Since the day before yesterday, a fact has been parading itself in front of my eyes and despite my attempts to ignore it...I simply could not. I spent a truly wonderful day with some of my best friends and I am happy to report to all you goths and suicide-contemplaters out there.
There is still hope.
For the last few weeks, I have indeed been feeling a sort of emptyness within me. A craving for something intangible, yet possibly very easily acquired. I just realized that after many years of trying to maybe start anew with new people and experiences, the greatest moments of my life, the greatest people in my life, all lay in the past. And the present. And I damn well will try to keep them around for the future.
That's not saying that my new friends aren't great. They are. They are just as great as the old ones and maybe 2-3 years later, I shall feel the same way about them. But recently, certain relationships took a turn for the wierd, and changes were made without consent or sensitivity towards feelings, and I was feeling trapped. I suppose that's partly like what a doomed marriage feels like.
So I had an epiphany. Let's combine the greats of olde, and the greats of the present, and short of a temporal displacement, great times may yet be had. And I decided to put that plan into action. Let's say that my grand, master plan hasn't come into effect, but I received a sample of my plan not more than 2 days ago.
And good lord was it one of the greatest moments of my life!
Which brings me to my point of the day/week/month/god knows how long. If you have a friend you REALLY feel comfortable around, a friend you can confide your deepest, darkest secrets to and maybe even show your most vulnerable sides: keep him/her/them. They are the greatest people you will probably ever have the privilege of knowing. Maybe they will seem insignificant now, maybe you have a fight with one or more of them, maybe you drifted apart, maybe you just thought the other person(s) changed, or maybe you think you changed too much to be comfortable around them.
Well....dont.
Pick up your phone, go online, do something. For once that window closes, it will never open again, and you will regret it for the rest of your lives. I know that I am lucky for catching that window an inch before it slammed shut on me. And I know that I'm gonna love the next few years of my life if all goes well.
For these aren't the hundreds of 'friends' you surround yourself with. These are the chosen few, the diamonds in the sea of sand and soil, these are for life.
This one is for you guys. I know you know who I am referring to, but I think I'll mention them anyways. Certain readers might be a bit put off by the following names, but I think you'll agree with me that we're not the kind of friends maybe even we would like to be yet.
Thank you Salman, Nahian, Shehzar, Fayad, Aroni, Ariq, Bashneen, Shabnaz, Niyaz.
This one's for you guys.
Ciao.
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----------#NAREGO online
.....you prick.
You cant do this to me!! Do you know who I AM?! Death shalt await you through every orifice of
your maggot...infeste...-ody.....
-
--
---
----
-
--
---
----
-----
-----------------#NAREGO offline
Well, hello readers. For the first time, it's me Shampad having a heart to heart chat [at least a very one-sided chat] with you folks. My narcissistic alter-ego has been temporarily put into stasis so that I could actually reveal something about myself and maybe even have a positive post for once. Well...here goes. Wish me luck.
Since the day before yesterday, a fact has been parading itself in front of my eyes and despite my attempts to ignore it...I simply could not. I spent a truly wonderful day with some of my best friends and I am happy to report to all you goths and suicide-contemplaters out there.
There is still hope.
For the last few weeks, I have indeed been feeling a sort of emptyness within me. A craving for something intangible, yet possibly very easily acquired. I just realized that after many years of trying to maybe start anew with new people and experiences, the greatest moments of my life, the greatest people in my life, all lay in the past. And the present. And I damn well will try to keep them around for the future.
That's not saying that my new friends aren't great. They are. They are just as great as the old ones and maybe 2-3 years later, I shall feel the same way about them. But recently, certain relationships took a turn for the wierd, and changes were made without consent or sensitivity towards feelings, and I was feeling trapped. I suppose that's partly like what a doomed marriage feels like.
So I had an epiphany. Let's combine the greats of olde, and the greats of the present, and short of a temporal displacement, great times may yet be had. And I decided to put that plan into action. Let's say that my grand, master plan hasn't come into effect, but I received a sample of my plan not more than 2 days ago.
And good lord was it one of the greatest moments of my life!
Which brings me to my point of the day/week/month/god knows how long. If you have a friend you REALLY feel comfortable around, a friend you can confide your deepest, darkest secrets to and maybe even show your most vulnerable sides: keep him/her/them. They are the greatest people you will probably ever have the privilege of knowing. Maybe they will seem insignificant now, maybe you have a fight with one or more of them, maybe you drifted apart, maybe you just thought the other person(s) changed, or maybe you think you changed too much to be comfortable around them.
Well....dont.
Pick up your phone, go online, do something. For once that window closes, it will never open again, and you will regret it for the rest of your lives. I know that I am lucky for catching that window an inch before it slammed shut on me. And I know that I'm gonna love the next few years of my life if all goes well.
For these aren't the hundreds of 'friends' you surround yourself with. These are the chosen few, the diamonds in the sea of sand and soil, these are for life.
This one is for you guys. I know you know who I am referring to, but I think I'll mention them anyways. Certain readers might be a bit put off by the following names, but I think you'll agree with me that we're not the kind of friends maybe even we would like to be yet.
Thank you Salman, Nahian, Shehzar, Fayad, Aroni, Ariq, Bashneen, Shabnaz, Niyaz.
This one's for you guys.
Ciao.
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---
----
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----------#NAREGO online
.....you prick.
posted by Shampad | 2:10 AM
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6 comments
