E-I-E-I-Otaku?! Nani???

It has recently come to my attention the absolute mania that pervades the use of this word: Otaku. It seems that every two-bit anime viewer who has seen at least two complete series or a substantially high number of anime movies considers him/herself an 'otaku'. This disgraceful phenomenon exists mainly in the males of our predominantly male societies. Irony seems to follow closely to the heels of this strange foreign word, obviously with Japanese origins, but mistranslated and now unfortunately mutated into the frightening Franken-Dracula-Goku love child it is. After a gruelling conversation with the highly learned in all things Japanese and 'anime' [emphasis on the apostrophes], I have come to the final conclusion.

All self-proclaimed 'otaku' should be dragged out into the streets; still clinging to their Escaflownes and Evangelions; and a swift-but-sure, precise-but-powerful, world-shattering shotgun should be efficiently utilised to render their sorry poser carcasses vulture-meat. In short, 'otaku' does not mean what you western mongrels make it out to be.

Being an 'otaku' does not grant you wisdom beyond all living creatures, it does not catapult you into the upper echelons of social scrutiny, it does not mean that you are 'cool' all of a sudden just because you spent all day with your behind planted in your sofa watching cartoons. Because at the end of the day...what you are is a nerd.

Of course, being a nerd is not a bad thing per se. Au contrair, it is actually a good thing. I myself am a nerd and I have laid waste to many an anime, manga, RPG and movie. But I don't go around parading that fact around. I don't suddenly expect damsels to land at my feet, clawing and tugging at me, begging me to grace their ears with a single word of deeply amorous undertones. Although that would be nice.

No, the fact of the matter is...there are different classifications of 'nerd'. There are nerds who, having spent the better part of their education careers involved with computers, are modern-day Mithrandirs...capable of more magicks with their keyboards than Gandalf himself. Then there are the nerds who are so involved with a particular fictional universe, that they devote their spare time making theories about how the moon of Endor shouldve been decimated by a fallout of cataclysmic proportions. Yes, extreme, but at least those guys dont want any special treatment sans the occasional mercy.

But now, with the advent of the wonderful creation known as 'anime' as a leading pop-culture source, some lame-brained Miyazaki-wannabe decided to take a quite uncool word in Japanese and turn it into a phenomenon, with geeks in the geek pantheon vying for dominion as the 'otaku' overlord. Go. Shoot. Yourselves. Please.

The word 'otaku' in japanese means 'maniac'. This word causes images of greasy, fat, bespectacled couch-potatoes too afraid of vitamin D to give fresh air and sunlight a chance; to float through the vortex that is the average japanese mind.

It does not cause images of super-beings too powerful for humanity to control and too weak for God to take into His bosom...to appear. Stop. Calling. Yourselves. That.

I am frankly quite disgusted by the average anime-enthusiast who reads a thing or two on japanese culture and learns a few words in japanese to suddenly declare him/herself [usually him], accompanied by proud smile, an 'otaku'. Sure, great accomplishment...let me contact Time Magazine. The scoop of the century. w00t. j00 @r3 teh r0x0rz!

The word 'otaku' was simply butchered by the west in much the same way as the word 'hentai' was. Great, now that I have piqued your waning attentions with the 'h' word...might as well explain it. The word 'hentai' in japanese means 'pervert' or 'sexual predator'...that's it. It does in no way connote a genre as a whole. It's like calling pornography 'pervert'. Like the now-[in]famous "All your base are belong to us" line...it simply became a part of pop-culture due to some 30-year old 50-inch waistlined dorito-muncher who couldn't come to grips with the subtle intricacies of the japanese syntax.

So my point and request is this...please! Enough is enough! Japanese is a beautiful language, don't butcher it, for everytime some 'Hello Kitty' cosplaying non-japanese person with delusions of grandeur calls himself an 'otaku' to express his clear superiority over the rest of us inferior beings...a part of Japanese culture dies. The japanese language is meant as a form of communication with our Japanese counterparts. Dont embarass the human race and the good people of Japan by calling yourself 'otaku' simply because you watched a bunch of bootlegged anime. It is nothing to be proud of. Stop it.

Please.

Ciao.

A PASSIONate Video

Well...just downloaded the 'Passion' Music Video by Utada Hikaru, and I must say, it was well worth the time invested. The animated sequence in the beginning tantalized all but my most amorous senses and of course...our intrepid singer looked as gorgeous as ever! The imagery in the video was up to par, sans the final thirty seconds with the horses...which came out of no where. Truth be told... I would have preferred it if they cut out the wild stallion part completely...it ruined the magic of the 'Blue-world'.

The video also gave me the biggest scare I have had since about...well, quite a substantial amount of time! Why? Let us simply say that Utada Hikaru videos and dancing harems do not mix. Of course...as always, our respected artist who has more integrity than any other singer since time was not there to dance with the aforementioned dancing girls...thank god! Not meaning to say that she can't dance or would look awful dancing...but if you have seen more than two of her videos...you will know what I mean.

Also...I loved the use of digital handycams in the video...very refreshing.

As always...amazing video. Keep it up.
Ciao.

ESUNA!!!

Yes, I'm cured of my debillitating writer's block.

Ciao.

Inspiration can do wonders...domo arigatou guzai masu H***i-chan!!

Well, here are the bare facts...I was simply sitting at my seat...minding my own business, when a blast of vibrations going straight to my ear drums catch me off guard. The next thing I know, I am writing like a machine on cyber-steroids...unable to stop, visions of a powerful world spurring me on, I was in a trance. And if you're reading this [which has a 90% probability of never happening], arigatou.

Well, here is a small excerpt of what I have so far written...most of it is quite essential to the plot...and due to my extreme paranoia about my work, I have decided not to grace this page with anything further. Well, enjoy!

------------X----------

“Well, the charade is up Samus my friend. May I enter the hanger now?” he asked, as if asking a dear friend of several years.

“Why not? It’s not like it’s your first time…and knowing you, it surely won’t be your last.” Bellowed Samus, his face still bloated and red from the side-splitting bout of laughter he had just recovered from.

Samus turned around and went over to the little panel at the side of the heavily-guarded hanger. He nonchalantly inserted his Level-1 key into the small aperture and turned it. There was a faint click, and then where there was a discoloured wall merely seconds ago, revealed itself to be an intricate doorway, as the discoloured tiles slid and slipped over each other and moved aside, revealing a small passageway meant for small deliveries and personnel, the passage walls were lined with gold, a resource found aplenty in the Kingdom of Aracos.

Samus, having done his little favour, turned back to Ray and spoke, in a very serious tone: “Make sure you aren’t caught, or it’ll be my job.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Ray coldly replied. He never took favours for granted.

As Samus returned to his usual position in front of the passageway, Ray slowly slipped into the passageway, making sure that nobody saw him enter. As he walked cautiously through the dimly-lit catacombs that were the maintenance passages, and finally emerged into the other side, his feelings changed from those of caution into those of child-like wonder, an emotion lost to him in recent years. Forgetting Samus’ advice, he gazed into the largest airship he had ever laid his eyes upon.

-------------X------------

Well, that's it for now. Be sure to see the rest of this in a bookstore near you.

Ciao.

Ushering in a new age through writing is hard!!!

I used to be one of you inferior beings once. I used to wake up from my nightly slumber and scoff at any books lying around and go on to the bathroom to grace the world with my rugged good looks. I read books, of course I read books. But after every page of those tomes had given up their knowledge and declared me their master, I used to engage in non-productive thought by cursing at these 'authors' making a fast buck through writing. It seemed to me that writing was the easiest thing in the world, the only activity marginally easier being the art of talking, walking and thinking. I mean, one merely has to look at the fact that Drew Carey wrote a number 1 bestseller to come unfalteringly to my same conclusion.

Oh god...how wrong I was.

It merely took me to start taking up writing as a career choice; due in large parts to my own unmistakable talent, my friends and Utada Hikaru; for me to realize the stark misconceptions I had harbored until the day I myself took up the pen and paper [or, as more accurately...the keyboard and word]. The career path of a writer is strewn with as many obstacles in his'her path as the amount of commas and semi-colons that suffocately brandish the works of Tolkien or Khalil Jibran. The prospect of writing a complete original tome [commonly known...as a book] is staggering to behold to the common writer wannabe that currently pollutes the Earth as we know it.

Unless your name happens to be J.K.Rowling.

Now, I am a fan of J.K.Rowling's works. I read every single episode of her Harry Potter opus with relish and pure pleasure, and I will admit that she has a flair for the unexpected. Too bad her skill with words is as able as a platypus struggling with chinese. It pains me, an aspiring writer destined to be in the upper echelons of intellectuals and society as a whole, to realize that Rowling made more money with her 5 books using words simple enough for toddlers to understand than Tolkien probably ever did. It pains me to struggle with words only to have the letters from her books mock me at every page.

Well...look at me...I kind of got diverted from the beaten path. Where was I?

Right.

The literary life of a writer, whether a song-writer, poetry-writer [I am aware they are known as poets], or simply that of a story-writer is laced with a poison that merely mentioning causes fear, uncertainty and doubt among those creatively gifted. This poison is to be mentioned by only those who are the most maniacally brave...those who would brave a dragon's lair for shits and giggles. And I am that person, mainly because I am currently afflicted by this poison...someone cast Esuna. Brace yourself, hug your loved ones, and settle all your debts, as I announce the name of this evil: Writer's Block.

This ailment grabs ahold of your soul like an anvil strapped to your ankles and doesn't let go until you have garnered the will necessary to defeat it...or until you die. Take for example me, inspiration has struck me and I have spent many an hour typing away at a fantastical journey of rediscovery and lost dreams, filled with the most inventive contraptions and a wholly original world that continues to baffle my mind as I receive flashes of its beauty and elegance.

Too bad I have been unable to put that damn world into words as of 2 hours ago. I know my characters, they are complex, they have dreams, loves, devotion and friendships...I know how they think, how they react to the unimaginable circumstances I have yet to transcribe into words and how they ultimately end up. Yet I am unable to put these complexeties into words even as I see them flash by as a kaleidoscope of war, love and friendship.

Thus, I am filled with nothing but the utmost respect for all those who rely upon their creativity for sanity and a living. Except Drew Carey. And I am afraid that I have yet to usher in a new age. But please be patient...I'm strong enough to trudge along to fulfill my dreams. No. Matter. What.

I see London, I see France...I don't like what I see

A recent conversation with my elder brother was met with a jarring realisation smacking cacophonously into my cerebrum. We were talking about the next-generation consoles and the underlying philosophies behind M$'s latest abomination juxtaposed with Senator Palpatine when the term 'innovation' became lodged between my incredibly potent grey-cells. Innovation...is that what we are getting via the next-generation?

I admit, since the announcement of the next-generation consoles, I got caught up in the mind-altering drug that is hype. I saw the tech demos and the different trailers for games and the only word that can convey my enthusiastic elan was pure, unbridled idiocy. I drooled over every screenshot, I sang hymns at every trailer...but the stark truth was well out of the reach of my superior intellect...until now.

Yesterday, I asked myself after the life-changing conversation, "Where is the innovation?"...I mean, I agree that the next generation will look like the beautiful love-child of Avalon and Heaven...but the question remains...are we not back where we are? The consoles are indeed powerful enough to keep the skies from slipping from Atlas' feeble grasp...but are they not merely overpriced shells without games? So the innovation we are looking for lies not with any console per se but with the game developer? What has truly changed except for $400 dollars deducted from your bank account and a very powerful paperweight invading your living room?

Granted, there is the argument that the new hardware will allow for developers to put even more detail and opportunities in a game for us. But will things so drastically change? Have we not just merely upgraded our video cards? Take a look around...the only thing that people seem to comment on about the next-generation systems are the visuals. Innovation does not translate into visuals. I want to be able to grab an attacker's attacking appendage and, while keeping said appendage hostage, I want to be able to kick him/her in other appendages, without any of this to be scripted. I want to be able to pick up a magazine...roll it up, and smack an enemy soldier in the groin! I want the freedom to enter every single room a certain setting has...if the door is locked, I want to be able to go outside to the garage, pick up a hacksaw and cut the door down. I want enemies so smart that the sight of just two enemies will force me to rethink my objectives. I want the freedom to change sides in a war in the middle of a gut-wrenching battle and serve my days as a nazi spy! THAT is simply the tip of innovation that developers can accomplish...but I dont see even that.

What I see is the same Prince of Persia clone wall-running and attacking with the same pre-programmed moves. I see the same Halo/Doom/Half-Life clone running with an armory decimating an entire army whose only fault was being stupid enough to attack humans in the first place. I don't see a fighting game with the unscripted fun of Rag Doll Kung Fu. I don't see an FPS where your enemies will blow through walls to attack you. I see the same rag-doll physics perfected on the Source Engine...the same lighting effects perfected on Doom 3...I see no innovation.

What I see so far can be likened to Michael Jackson getting a decent face-lift. Only visuals...no sign of anti children-molestation microchips embedded in his cerebellum.

Once again we are at the mercy of game developers out to make a quick buck...yes, I'm looking at you EA. Our only hope is that maybe developers as brave as the makers of ICO come out of the woodwork to take advantage of the cosmic power that is the next generation console. Maybe even Square-Enix will pull one of those genre-defining RPGs out of their hats that made them household names in the first place...after they remake Final Fantasy VII of course.

In fact, the only console I see with innovation right out of the box, which promises innovation to the masses, which forces developers to look the harsh face of innovation in the face...is the Nintendo Revolution. This also forces me to acknowledge why so many developers and gamers are so keenly enthusiastic about Nintendo's latest pokemon-on-steroids. After years of laughing at Nintendo until my sides exploded, and ridiculing Nintendo to the point of Corporation suicide...they have finally earned my respect.

But I still probably won't get a Revolution. I'm awesome that way.

Caio.

A few links to tide thee over as I pour myself into another master-post!

Well, these here are a group of links that require your immediate amd satisfactory attention. They are more or less part of my 'cyber-patrol' whenever I'm online and not enlightening you with more inspired insights into our everyday world.

Penny Arcade

Gabe and Tycho, the authority when it comes to games and just about everything game-related. One of the popular web-site on the entire internet, links they have recommended have a habit of getting 'wang'-ed due to the torrent of traffic that explodes into it. WARNING: Expect some explicit dialogue.


Ctrl+Alt+Del

Another great video-game based web-comic with a humour and style akin to that of Penny-Arcade...just without the random-ness. It features some of the most hilariously craziest characters ever, Ethan and the XBot. Check it out.


VG-Cats

Another great video-game based web-comic. A bit mean to certain games and characters at times...but great nonetheless. The creator had a hilarious spat with Jack 'Arthritis-in-the-brain' Thompson...thus earning the respect of gamers the world over.

Game-Revolution

One of the greatest gaming sites on the net in my superior opinion. Thir reviews are 100% hilarious and accurate...and NO game gets a lenient score regardless of anything.

Idle-Thumbs

Also a great gaming site with EVEN less bullshit in their reviews/previews than even the great Game-Revolution. Of course, Game Revolution has no bullshit...but at least their previews are glowing. Idle Thumbs does not offer that level of hospitality. If a preview to a highly-anticipated game doesn't look striking to them...they will say so.

Grumpy-gamer

The hilarious blog of one of the greatest game developer of all time: Ron Gilbert. The creator of one of the greatest games of all time...Monkey Island. Checkz0rz.

I leave the best for last.

Slashdot

The most popular site on the internet. Receiving traffic every minute that numbers in the thousands, let alone the millions that come per day, this site has the most reliable news on Sci-fi, Science, Technology and Linux on the net. Proof? It said that the Xbox will also be $300 about a week before the actual PR came through. 'Nuff said. No rumours. Absolutely true. The techno-jargon occasionally seems overwhelming, but that's as far as the bad stuff go. Sites that they recommend get 'Slashdot'-ted almost all the time.

Real Ultimate Power

Tis be a surprise. Guaranteed to be one of your favourite sites of all time. Check it out.


Well? Why are you still reading my great blog? Enlightenment is done for now...come back after you're done with the links, young padawan.

PS3 or XBOX360? How about I just spin around an XBOX really fast??!!

Most of my friends know my increasing enthusiasm towards Sony's latest cyber-marvel the Playstation 3. Boomerang contollers aside, the PS3 seems to offer a more thoroughly enjoyable and decidedly rewarding treat for my jaded eyes and the franchise-hungry behemoth that lies slumbering ominously within me. Although my lust for the PS3 can be summed up in just a few well-chosen and character-contradictory words, I shall refrain from engaging in such a pointless and arbitrarily psychological endeavor. Instead, I shall, in the words of a Slashdotter titleing him/herself oGMo...express my feelings towards Micro$oft's latest abomination, probably created in the festering pools of Hell's 7th abyss with the accumulated souls of a million damned and a legion of Satan's greatest demon-lords...at least it explains why its so damned powerful.

oGMo says:

My perception of the PS1 is that it started slowly, uninterestingly, and eventually picked up steam with better and better titles, really taking off with FF7, and finally ending its career at a ripe old age where it can still be bought in micro form with a huge game library available. I still see new copies of some Greatest Hits on the shelves at Best Buy.

Enter the PS2. The Playstation has a track record of a platform with a ton of top titles, offers better graphics, backward compatibility, a higher capacity format and DVD movie playing capabilities. Any suprise people wanted this one?

Contrast this with the XBOX. It started off with lots of hype, never really went anywhere with its library, instead relying on technical superiority, and they're already coming out with the next console before this one has had five years.

Enter the XBOX360. Now, the XBOX didn't have a great library, and so there's not much track record there. It's got slightly improved graphics (but probably not as good as the competition will have), some backward compatibility (but to a meager library), and the same old DVD format. People say "there are interesting games on the horizon," but honestly, I want to know: what are they?

Contrast this to the competition. The PS3 promises what the PS2 promised (and delivered on): highly improved graphics, full backward compatibility, a higher capacity format and the ability to play next-gen movies. It's sitting on a vast library of 2 generations of games, and all indications point to the next generation being just as big.

The Revolution promises full backward compatibility to everything Nintendo owns (although details are fuzzy), a new form of controller that could really make console shooters something else (as well as open up new types of games), and most importantly, all the Nintendo franchise games.

I can see why someone would want a PS3. I can see why someone would want a Nintendo Revolution. But why would someone want an XBOX360?

END OF oGMo's wise words

Now I really do agree with him/her in a number of points too numerous and complex to be comprehended by your fragile minds. Thus, I shall only relay the sole reasons my own friends are purchasing the latest M$ abomination: HALO 3, KOTOR3 [which will probably come to PC anyways]....and some guy wanted to play GHOST RECON.

My, my...now call me a left-winging liberal, but there is something that is very wrong with buying a $400 abomination for the sole reason of playing a handful of games. Hmmm...I agree, Halo is a console masterpiece worthy of Hell's own Wall of Fame, but to pay $400 for a single game which will probably be finished [at least the story will] in 6-15 hours?

Excuse me while I miss the point.

Instead, unless the PS3 turns out to be impossible to mod or some half-assed anti-piracy obstacle lies in between a pirate's life and blood...I shall be purchasing Sony's latest gaming marvel. At least Final Fantasy will give me a couple more hours of replayable and spiritual joy after I'm done with it. But judging from the huge number of games that not only look amazing, but promising...it is unlikely that I shall be disappointed.

As for Nintendo...meh.

Ciao.

Beethoven would be spinning in his grave if he wasn't deaf!

Music...the universal art form for which lies infinite translations and limitless boundaries. The only form of communication [sans Mathematics] that transcends the limited boundaries of language and race. One merely has to harken to the acceptance of Rock "Devil Music" and the many international fans of aritsts such as A R Rahman and Utada Hikaru to bear witness to this fact. Artists like U2, The Beatles, Dio, Iron Maiden, Santana, Led Zeppelin,etc [need I go on?] has constantly redefined the music genre and paved waves of acceptance by even the most frigid of soccer moms.

Then what the hell happened?

After the advent and subsequent death of 'Old School' Hip-hop music, the music industry seems to have been ravaged by the titanic and apocalyptic sound vibrations of Britney Spears and posers like 50 Cent and [eerrgghh] Busted. When shows like Pop/American/Indian/Siberian Idol snatches up ratings and fans by the millions, one knows that something is definitely messed up. Even good musicians like Travis and Matchbox 20 and Tool seem to have disappeared into the woodwork and seemingly kissed the soft lips of music goodbye. And the music industry blames piracy for their loss in revenue. The head-honchos of the music industry who formulate such ear-cripplingly plans for world domination should be dragged out into the streets and flogged to within an inch of their lives with a slightly oversized microphone...the microphone of their own undoing, in conjunction with the wires of their utter flaccid egos for the greedy milking of this glorious element called music.

I swear, if I hear one more three man boy-band strumming along with their guitars and sporting hairstyles that seem to defy and break all laws of decency...someone is gonna get stabbed in the eye!

Caio.

Enter the Ragdoll! And bring Threepwood with it!

Rag Doll King Fu. Remember that name as you sit down on your wooden stool in your village idiot garb as you prepare to eke out a meager living making video games. For even the unlimited coffers of Micro$oft and EA Games could not produce a game with such gameplay and originality, while a lone programmer at LionHead studios brought that piece of software magnificence to life.

Mark Healey, I salute thee!

On another note, I have noticed on several frustrating occasions that no one seems to know what an adventure game is. Being a seasoned adventure gamer who frequently parries with those less fortunate in gaming sense, I would be happy settle this once and for all.

An adventure game is a game where there is very little to no action whatsoever. The only vestiges of action are those offered by the developer to provide a little gimmicky break between shoving rather large and seemingly uncomfortable items in your tight jeans [Gabriel Knight] and solving rather obscure puzzles [Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis]. It is a game more often than not played with a mouse with the added support of a keyboard. It is a game along the likes of LucasArts' greats like Monkey Island and Grim Fandango...not to mention Sam and Max and Day of the Tentacle.

Of course, you have to remember this little tid-bit...don't get distracted now, pay attention. GAMES LIKE TOMB RAIDER ARE NOT ADVENTURE GAMES!! They may have some puzzle bits but most of the time they ARE called action games or at the very highest, action/adventure games. So get your collective heads out of Lara Croft's fine behind and look to the genre that was and, like the Jedi in Star Wars, are continually bombed by the gaming heavyweights.

As you are all quite enlightened on this topic I hope, I shall take my leave. For those of you still scratching their heads in exasperation at the insane amounts of information trying to force its way into your feeble minds, please leave me your name, age and address so that I may visit death upon your sleeping forms.

Ciao.

Shinobis and Monkeys and Pikachu Oh My!!!

I'm told that articles like this have been published innumerable times but I thought I'd put up my side of the omnipresent discussion. Well, as any normal sentient lifeform with an IQ above 100 can probably guess, I am a gamer, and I have been since the time of the majestic Sega Mega Drive 2. And as I beared uncomfortable witness to the evolution of games since Shinobi and Contra:Hard Corps...I cannot help but notice how both our own and game-developers' perception of video games has strayed almost beyond the ominous point of very little return.

Nowadays, with the advent of high-technology, our impressions of a game are based solely on its graphical power. The gameplay is more oft than not forgotten in what I can only call the darkest recesses of our very souls; resting comfortably between the memories of stealing from parents and the fact that you were once in love with Pikachu of Pokemon fame. One has to merely look at the popularity of Doom3 and the great expectations reared towards the next-generation consoles to prove my aforementioned hypothesis.

Of course, not all developers are alike. Companies like Valve, Maxis and Double Fine Studios are constantly attempting to push the boundaries of gameplay into new and bed-wetting heights. But I believe the greatest changes will be brought on by the independant game enterprises. For example, Counter-Strike is the most popular online game [witholding MMORPGs] since its inception at the hands of an independant programmer. Yes, it had started as a mod for the Half-Life game in 1999 and had catapulted its way to stardom like some kind of an extra-terrestrial mother-ship. Now it is the greatest piece of gaming software available, brandishing waves upon waves of players like some great Sword of Illumination, lighting our way into what games should be like.

So, the culmination of my great and long-winded rant is this. Next time you're playing a video game and the visuals had stolen your attentions and jaded you for decades to come, look away from the fantastically-rendered monsters and strangely proportioned females, and play the game. 9 out of the ominously obvious 11 [hahah] times, chances are that it is a wolf in sheep's clothing, in other words...a cheap 2 dollar watercolour instead of the Rembrant of the gaming revolution that you were thinking of it as.

My video games rants are far from over, child. Be sure that I shall return to open your eyes to exciting and fresh genres the likes of which the Phoenix of Gaming shall rise.

As for me...I think I need to play through The Secret of Monkey Island one more time.
Ciao.

Prepare thyself Earth....thy greatest mind has awoken.

"Too long have I slumbered in the shadows of my sins. The time for wakefulness is upon me as the ignorance of Earth's denizens spur my mind and my wings for illumination."~~Ragnar, Lord of the Draeken.

In other words...my blog has begun.

In the next few years[?] you shall bear witness as I stimulate your minds and toes as I make arbitrary comments on a multitude of topics ranging from video games, books, my love life, my sad social life, movies, music, my cripplingly low self-esteem and my intensely over-bloated ego.

So lie back, put on your thinking/beer helmet and get ready to worship your new god.