I hear the drums echoeing in the night......and I want to go stab someone!
Today, in the rare occasion when I had some free time in between plotting world destruction and world domination [I'm confused as of now on which course I shall undertake...but it's good to be prepared], I was flicking through VH1. Now, I love VH1...even more so than MTV, because VH1 shows a lot of classic music while MTV caters to the trailer-park trash that predominantly makes up the American general population.
And I was watching a welcome slew of old Disney movie songs when they started showing 'contemporary' music. Suffice to say, along with the genocide of a million souls, I was forced to turn that infernal box [TV] off. And I started wondering:
Did I fall asleep for ten or fifteen years and all the female singers turned into 'hoes' and the males 'pimps'? I now imagine the stoic confines of Hell's infernal abyss to be overrun with graffiti with words such as 'ghetto 4 life' and 'slap ma hoes in them lo-los'...with Satan himself being belted by a large black woman for making 'eyes' at her 'man'. Crack addicts are a common sight.
I remember...nay, even today, on Classic VH1...I see artists with integrity and talent, doing what they do best. That is, croon their siren-like notes onto the musical ether, and wear decent clothing that emphasizes their natural vocal talents. They do NOT wear clothing that seemed stolen from two-year old prostitutes, with dancing moves which looks like some kind of mating dance for young epileptic giraffes. They do NOT let electronic appliances synthesize their voices in order to sound less like Margaret Thatcher and more like an orgasmic whore. They were an extinct race [at least in the US of good-ole-fashioned A] known as singers.
You 'young' singers can go back to your motel-rooms or street corners or wherever it was you were conceived. We need another Cindy Lauper...not another Ashley Simpson.
And for our male artistes...go back home homie! Do yo boo know you've been hittin' the ho-hos with yo lo-los fo shizzle ma bizzle? And all the white singers who do NOT want to be magically transformed into African-Americans [while keeping their country-club privileges]....you all need to find a nice young, compatible boyfriend. I hear Michael Jackson is hiring older men to sate his appetite now. GO BAHRAIN!
Well....that was a load off my pristine chest. I shall leave you all to your own machinations until my next post. Keep it real chums.
Ciao.
And I was watching a welcome slew of old Disney movie songs when they started showing 'contemporary' music. Suffice to say, along with the genocide of a million souls, I was forced to turn that infernal box [TV] off. And I started wondering:
Did I fall asleep for ten or fifteen years and all the female singers turned into 'hoes' and the males 'pimps'? I now imagine the stoic confines of Hell's infernal abyss to be overrun with graffiti with words such as 'ghetto 4 life' and 'slap ma hoes in them lo-los'...with Satan himself being belted by a large black woman for making 'eyes' at her 'man'. Crack addicts are a common sight.
I remember...nay, even today, on Classic VH1...I see artists with integrity and talent, doing what they do best. That is, croon their siren-like notes onto the musical ether, and wear decent clothing that emphasizes their natural vocal talents. They do NOT wear clothing that seemed stolen from two-year old prostitutes, with dancing moves which looks like some kind of mating dance for young epileptic giraffes. They do NOT let electronic appliances synthesize their voices in order to sound less like Margaret Thatcher and more like an orgasmic whore. They were an extinct race [at least in the US of good-ole-fashioned A] known as singers.
You 'young' singers can go back to your motel-rooms or street corners or wherever it was you were conceived. We need another Cindy Lauper...not another Ashley Simpson.
And for our male artistes...go back home homie! Do yo boo know you've been hittin' the ho-hos with yo lo-los fo shizzle ma bizzle? And all the white singers who do NOT want to be magically transformed into African-Americans [while keeping their country-club privileges]....you all need to find a nice young, compatible boyfriend. I hear Michael Jackson is hiring older men to sate his appetite now. GO BAHRAIN!
Well....that was a load off my pristine chest. I shall leave you all to your own machinations until my next post. Keep it real chums.
Ciao.
posted by Shampad | 12:00 PM
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3 comments
