Yes, I'm still alive! Don't worry, none of those small people who hate this blog have brutally executed me with a cherry...it's all right.
But I have indeed been bored the last couple of days, so for the first time, I shall attempt to entertain you people from this little list I found on the net.
Enjoy.
You know you've been in Japan too long if...
...when you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
...your hair is thinning and you consider it "barcode style".
...you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof.
...you think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.
...you ride a Honda Cub with a sidecar.
...you think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the
question "What are you giving me, doctor?".
...you remember when Yamamoto Linda came on at the very end of the show (NHK's
Yume de aimashou) and kept her mouth shut.
...you have discovered the attraction of high school navy uniforms.
...when you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of "Vermont curry".
...you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
...you don't find anything strange about a city that puts a life sized, red-and-white
painted Eiffel tower imitation in its center, as well as a scale model of the Versaille Palace for its Crown Prince.
...you are only slightly puzzled by "Melty Kiss."
...a new Gaijin moves to your neighborhood and you know immediately you will get his mail for a while.
...you think the meaning of a red traffic light is: "Hurry up! Ten cars now in quick
succession, and then we'll think about slowing down."
...when you get on a train with a number of gaijin on it and you feel uneasy because the harmony is broken.
...you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in
order to be able to properly categorize them.
...when looking out the window of your office, you think "Wow, so many trees!" Instead
of "Wow, so much concrete!"
...when you find yourself thinking "great, it's almost time for Paul Harvey, have to turn on the radio."
...when you sing FEN's "Here's what's happening around the Kanto plain" song aloud in
your car while air-drumming.
...you think NHK is "the Japanese BBC."
...you think curry rice is food.
...the Yakult lady knows you by name.
...you think it is quite OK to play volleyball with 12 people per team.
...when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature,
you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...
...and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke.
...you stand before a sign on a bridge and ponder the possible meanings of "Bridge
Freezes Before Road."
...it takes fifteen seconds of deep thought to recall the first name of the President of the United States.
...a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You're
not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?
...you are outwardly appalled to see someone pour miso shiru over rice, but do it in private yourself (neko meshi).
....you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have
donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.
...you have over 100 small, transparent plastic umbrellas in your entrance even *after*
donating 27 of them to taxis and JR recently.
...you realize it's perfectly reasonable for the Post Office to designate you as the local
redistribution agent for all letters addressed in yokomoji.
...when you absolutely do not possess the ability to mispronounce Japanese words
"like a non-Japanese would."
...when you pay over 6000 yen for a lipstick and realize a few days later how much you
really spent. (Or 7000 yen for a Captain Santa T-shirt. -Pete)
...when your arguing with someone about the color of the traffic light being blue or
green...and you think it's blue.
...you are proud of yourself for beating the system by buying a case of Labbatt's Blue for 160 yen a can.
...you think rice imports should be prohibited, because Japanese consumers would never buy imported rice.
...when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
...you get a "Nihongo ga joozu" and feel really insulted.
...you see a road with two lanes going in the same direction and assume the one on the left is meant for parking.
...when you think Japan actually has only four seasons
...when you pull out your ruler to underline words.
...when getting ready for a trip you automatically calculate for omiyage and you leave
just the right amount of space in your suitcase for them.
...you manage "yankii-zuwari" without anything propping up your heels.
...not only do you overcome your childhood training and spit out the mikan membranes,
but you discover the knack of peeling the mikan so that the peel forms a neat
receptacle for you to spit the membranes into.
...when having gaijin around you is a source of stress.
...you watch the grocer's with interest to see when the price of mikans will break.
...on a cold autumn night, the only thing you want for dinner is nabe and nihonshu.
...you return the bow from the cash machine.
...you can't find the "open" and "close" buttons in the elevator because they're in English.
...when you think children should have to walk around in the freezing cold with only
short sleeves and shorts up to their butt (to make them strong!).
...when you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.
...you can do arithmetic using man, oku, cho. and kei.
...you sympathize with your Japanese student because her daughter is baka because
she wears spring tops with winter skirts and you both sit down to try and see what can
be done about this wild child.
...you count things with chuu chuu tako kai na.
...you cound things using the ni no shi no ro no ya no to song.
...you can't read your kids the Three Little Pigs without giggling when you get the part
about "Not by the hair of chinny chin chin."
...you bow to other drivers who give you the right of way.
...you fully understand the concept of "cute culture."
Hmm...I personally don't live in Japan, but it seems that some of these points hold true for me as well. I wonder if that's a good sign...(^_^)
Well...that's all for now. Hopefully I shall have something controversial or just plain mean to say next time.
Ciao.
